The Crossword Puzzle Proposal
 by: Hankster

© 2021 by the author

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hankster@tickiestories.us

Christopher Martin and Paul Springfield had been partnered, and living together, for almost six years.  Paul was beginning to be infused with the idea of getting married.  So many of their friends were doing it.  Chris had no such aspirations.  He was more than content with the status quo.  You see, Chris had an addiction, which left him little time to think about such matters.

Chris was addicted to solving crossword puzzles.  Volumes and volumes of crossword puzzle books, lay strewn all over their home.  Paul had tried to straighten them out on more than one occasion.  Neatness lasted about half a day.  As much as he loved Chris, his partner’s addiction was beginning to wear on him. 

Even when they were making love, Chris was obsessed with puzzles.  One day, in the midst of their passion, while engaged in a very lusty game of sixty-nine, Chris jumped out of bed.

“What’s wrong?  Where are you going?” Paul asked.

“I just thought of a six letter word I needed to complete a puzzle.  It just wouldn’t come to me before.”

Paul turned over in a huff, and was asleep before Chris got back into bed.

Whenever Paul wanted to bring up the subject of getting married, Chris had his head buried in a puzzle, and his standard remark was, “We’ll talk later, baby, as soon as I finish this puzzle.”

Paul concluded that Chris’s addiction was just as bad as drugs or booze.  He knew that he should leave Chris, but he loved him too much.  He could never leave the man he loved with all his being.  He made a pact with himself to grin and bear it.

There was a doctor in town whose success rate in helping patients kick their drug or alcohol addictions was astounding.  Paul made an appointment with Dr. Halperin.  When Paul explained the problem, the doctor stifled a sudden desire to laugh.  He suggested that Paul visit a doctor who specialized in gambling addictions.  He felt that gambling was closer to Chris’s problem.  He referred Dr. Gary Johnson to him.  Paul made an appointment at the earliest possible available time.

Dr. Johnson turned out to be a very imposing African American.  He stood six feet, four inches tall.  He was a bruiser, but he wasn’t fat.  His massive body could scare the addiction right out of Chris’s brain.  He had once played basketball for NYU, where he attended on a full scholarship.  He would have played football also, but he was too busy for two sports.  His academic responsibilities came first. 

Dr. Johnson’s father had a terrible gambling addiction, and on many occasions he brought his family to the brink of bankruptcy.  It was probably the reason that upon completion of medical school, Dr. Johnson did a residency in psychiatry, and slowly honed in on gambling addictions.Upon listening to Paul’s tale of woe, he was tempted to laugh as Dr. Halperin had been tempted to do.  However, Dr. Johnson believed that all addictions were ruinous to the addicted person, as well as to his family.  He was more convinced about that when Paul told him that Chris always had a crossword puzzle on his desk at work, and he feared his lover would get the sack.  Dr. Johnson agreed to see Chris.

Paul hadn’t expected that.  He figured that the doctor would tell him how to handle Chris and the addiction on the phone, not to go through a series of psychiatric counseling visits.  He doubted that he could get Chris to make an appointment with a psychiatrist.  That night he broached the subject with Chris.  Unfortunately, Chris didn’t hear a word he said.  His head was buried in a crossword puzzle.  He said a very inane thing to Paul, “Yes, Babe, I’ll come to bed in about fifteen minutes, after I finish this puzzle.”

Paul was beginning to run out of patience.  He could no longer have a conversation with Chris.  His lover didn’t even listen to him anymore, so while Chris was solving puzzles, Paul was hatching plans to cure his lover.  Even if the cure was temporary, it would afford a great deal of relief.

He thought of asking Chris to go on a vacation with him, if he would not take any crossword puzzle books with him.  Even as he hatched the plan, he knew that Chris wouldn’t go for it.  He’d prefer to vacation at home with his puzzles, than give them up.  But what if the vacation was a honeymoon?  Paul felt that a honeymoon trip would give him a fighting chance.

However, Chris wouldn’t talk to him about getting married.  He always gave Paul his standard reply, “Later, baby.”

Something so outlandish occurred to Paul, that now it was he who laughed.  Nevertheless, he was so desperate that he decided to try it.  He would hire a crossword puzzle constructor to create a puzzle especially for Chris, and the clues would make it clear that Paul was asking Chris to marry him. He believed that it was a better plan than being totally ignored by his partner.

Every morning, the local newspaper was delivered and thrown at their front door.  As soon as Chris was through with his morning bathroom routine, he ran out to get the newspaper.  He immediately removed the puzzle page, and threw the rest of the paper at Paul.  Quickly, he got so caught up in the puzzle that he never heard what Paul said to him almost every day: “Thanks for including me.”  The thank you, of course, was not heartfelt.  In fact, it was quite sarcastic, but Chris never heard Paul anyhow.  The daily newspaper puzzle, was the one puzzle, he knew for sure Chris would do.

One morning, about two months before St. Valentine’s Day, Paul called the newspaper and asked to speak to the Crossword Puzzle Editor.  He expected to be put through to the man’s secretary, but he answered the phone himself.  Paul identified himself, and without getting into Chris’s addiction, he explained that he wanted to ask his partner to marry him via the daily crossword puzzle.  He assured the editor, Max Bonner, that his partner never missed a day.

The editor was not only flattered, but he thought it would make the most romantic Valentine’s Day puzzle he had ever printed.  In order to get it done on time, he requested more information. “Please tell me exactly what you want to say,” he asked.

“Nothing complicated.  I want to keep it simple.  Just say, Chris, I love you.  Please marry me and make me the happiest man in the world.”

“Valentine’s Day falls on a Thursday this year,” Max said.  “Weekday puzzles are much smaller than Sunday puzzles.  I should be able to fit the entire message on two lines running across.  I want to add a third clue: ‘Source of the proposal,’ so Chris will be sure to know that it’s meant for him.  Please give me your full name.  I also want a number where I can reach you, if I need to make a change or clarify a point.”

Paul complied with Max’s request.  When he hung up, he was ecstatic.  He never expected that his idea would see the light of day, Valentine’s Day, at that.  It was all he could do to concentrate on his work.  Unfortunately, as time went on, Paul didn’t hear from Max, and he began to worry.  On the Monday before the big day, he called the editor, and expressed his concern.

“I’m sorry I didn’t call you, Paul,” Max apologized, “but I’ve been so busy, I never thought to fill you in.  Let me assure you, the puzzle is completed and edited.  It’ll appear this Thursday on Valentine’s Day.  When Chris reads the message, you’d better be prepared for a romantic evening.  I suggest you make reservations at some fancy restaurant.”

Paul was about to add, “If I can tear him away from his crossword puzzles,” but he realized that he had never revealed Chris’s addiction to Max, so he said nothing.  He thanked the editor and hung up.

On Wednesday morning, the day before Valentine’s Day, while they were having breakfast, Paul tore the crossword puzzle away from Chris.

“What are you doing?” Chris asked.  He was really pissed.

“Listen to me for a change,” Paul said.  “This is important.  Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day.  I had thought that we’d have a romantic dinner at a wonderful restaurant, and then come home and fuck all night.  It occurred to me that the restaurants are always too crowded, and like a zoo, on that day.  What do you say we do it tonight?”

“Fantastic idea.  Sure.  Why don’t you make the reservations and surprise me.  Now can I have the paper back?”

“Yes,” Paull said, “but no puzzles at dinner tonight.”

“Okay, sure,” Chris agreed.

Paul felt that he had won a minor victory, and he was elated.  At dinner that night, would have been the perfect time to talk about getting married, but Paul didn’t want to spoil the surprise of the crossword puzzle proposal the following morning.

Not only did Chris give Paul his full attention at dinner, he did likewise in their bed that night.  Paul could not remember a time when Chris had sucked his cock so passionately, nor fucked him with so much desire and fervor.  Chris was totally focused on his love making.  Paul felt certain that his little plan would work, and then Chris went and spoiled it. 

After they both came, they were basking in the afterglow, and they were fondling each other.  Suddenly, Chris jumped out of bed.

“I’ve got to do a couple of puzzles before I can get to sleep.  I’ll be back in a little while,” he said.

Paul could only sigh and try to sleep.  After all, the morning paper would be delivered in just a few short hours.

St. Valentine’s Day dawned bitter cold, cloudy, and with snow flurries in the air.  Paul had to pray that the newspaper would be delivered that morning.  Ironically, Chris was praying for the same thing.  He didn’t know how he could start his day without a cup of coffee, a buttered toasted bagel, and the crossword puzzle in his daily newspaper.

That morning, Chris actually put on his overcoat to retrieve the paper.  They both sighed with relief when they found the newspaper at their front door.

“Start your puzzle,” Paul said.  “I’ll put up the coffee and toast the bagels.”

Paul was just popping the bagels into the toaster.  His heart was beating so fast he prayed that he wouldn’t have a stroke.

Suddenly, he heard Chris yell, “SHIT!”

“What’s wrong?” Paul asked.

“Today’s puzzle is one of those that has a quote or a quip or a familiar phrase within it.  The solution runs across on several lines.  You have to solve the puzzle mostly with down clues.  There’s no help from across clues.  I have half a mind not to solve it.  I’ve got plenty of other puzzles.”

Paul panicked.  “Wuss,” he said.  “You can’t solve all your puzzles in five minutes.  Aren’t you up for a challenge.”

“Sure I am.  I just want a fighting chance.”

“Please,” Paul said, “try to solve it.  I’ll time you.”

Chris couldn’t believe how understanding Paul was being this morning.  Usually he tried to dissuade him from working on puzzles at the breakfast table.

“Holy shit.” Chris exclaimed.

“What now?” Paul asked.

“It says at the top of the puzzle that it’s a Valentine’s Day love note, and if a guy named Chris solves it, he’ll get the surprise of his life.”

“You’re a guy named Chris,” Paul said.  “Solve it.  Maybe it was meant for you.”

“Fat chance,” Chris said, but a seed of suspicion entered his brain.  He set right to work, and solved the puzzle in record time.  When he read the message, and who it was sent from, he started to cry.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me that you wanted to get married?” he whined.

“You jerk.  I’ve been trying to tell you for months, but you always have your head buried in a puzzle, and all you ever say is, ‘later, babe.’  I hit on the idea of asking you to marry me through the daily puzzle.  The crossword puzzle editor had this puzzle constructed especially for you.  What do you say?  What’s your answer?”

“Yes, yes, I’ll marry you,” Chris yelled and he smacked a very wet kiss on Paul.

“My proposal comes with a caveat,” Paul said.  “You’ve got to agree.  If you don’t I might actually leave you.”  Paul thought that he was issuing an empty threat, but suddenly, he realized that he meant it.  He could no longer tolerate the way they lived.

“Talk,” Chris said.

“Okay.  First of all, no puzzles at work.  I don’t want you to endanger your job.  Second of all, I’ll allow you to do the daily newspaper puzzle every morning, but when we come home from work, you will never work another puzzle again that evening.  I want, no I need, all your attention.  I want our evenings to be romantic, and filled with lots of kinky sex.  If you can’t accept the terms, I swear I will leave you.  I want a man who will put me first over his addictions.  Can you live with these terms?”

Chris’s silence pierced the room like a sharp knife.  Paul was scared, and then Chris took his hands and said, “Let’s call in sick.  We’ll make love all day.   I’ll make sure that it’s filled with lots of kinky sex.”

“You won’t get out of bed to complete a puzzle?” Paul asked fearfully.

“Not on your life, but I want to modify your caveat.  I will work on puzzles at work, but only during coffee breaks, and at lunch time.”

“If you stick to that promise, I can live with it,” Paul said.

They both called in sick and ran to the shower, where they always started their foreplay.  While they were drying themselves, Paul’s phone rang.  It was Max.

“I hate to bother you,” he said, “but my wife is dying to know how it turned out.”

“He said ‘yes,’ and you’re invited to our wedding.  I’ll keep you informed.”

He shut off his phone, and Chris shut his.  Then the lovemaking began.  It was more sensual and passionate than kinky, but that suited both of them just fine.  They threw themselves on their bed and began to play sixty-nine.  They sucked each other slowly and very sensuously.  Chris was the first to feel himself cumming.  He stopped their play and began to give Paul a trip around the world.  He brought Paul to the brink and then retreated.  Now Paul returned the favor.

When Chris was begging for relief, Paul said, “Okay, honey, it’s fuck time.”

He pulled a tube of lube out of his bedside table, and began to coat his asshole thoroughly.  Then he handed the tube to Chris, who coated his cock with the lubricant.  Paul liked it doggie style, because he wanted to feel dominated by his partner, so he turned on his stomach.  Chris entered him very slowly, and with much love.  Chris began to stroke even slower, and Paul began to whimper in sexual ecstasy. 

They orgasmed simultaneously, and now both of them were crying.

*****

Of course, this story begs the question, did Chris comply with Paul’s wishes or did his addiction get the better of him?  I can’t tell you, because I don’t know.  I heard this unusual tale from one of Paul’s co-workers, who is a friend of mine.  Paul felt close enough to my friend to have confided in him. 

Shortly after his wedding, Paul got a big promotion.  It required a transfer, and the newlyweds moved to Chicago.  He and my friend lost touch with each other.

If you are a hopeless romantic, like I am, you can believe that Chris kicked his addiction.  If you are a cynic, like most people I know, you can believe that Chris yielded to his addiction, and gave into temptation.  In that case, they eventually divorced and split up.

Think hard about it, and give it your best shot.

*****

Did you really think that I could leave you and myself hanging like this?  My own curiosity got the better of me.   Recently, I urged my friend to contact Paul just to say hello, and ask him how he was enjoying married life.  Paul assured him that all was well.  Chris loved his new job in Chicago.  They both loved the gay night life there, but would rather stay home and make love.  They were living happily ever after, for now.

We can only send them our very best wishes, and hope for the best.

Posted: 10/08/2021